January 2010
!
you.
December 2009
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it hasn’t been hard to forget things lately.
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I like
to go out and feel good. to feel good and go out.
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So this is how it is
even though there is no point in saying anything that im about to say im going to anyway. sometimes its good to get everything off your chest and i would feel so much better if i were to actually tell you this but you wouldnt care at all. because its you. and youre just like that. this is why you dont get it. this is why you dont get why you make me feel sick. im not trying to be a bitch so im...
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& it's like
a book with nothing written in it and you’re flipping through the pages to find something but you just cant find anything. feeling absolutely everything but feeling nothing at all. being full to the brim but feeling more emptier than ever. i feel like ill be sitting here for a really long time and and wondering why its taking me so long to do something but i look at the clock and its only...
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Well
I’m not sure if it would be like soulmates or anything because I’m not even sure if I believe in souls, but maybe something more like synchronicity, you know? Like how certain people are just supposed to be together, so they’ll find eachother no matter what. Maybe, I guess … I mean, sometimes I think that everyone’s personality is kind of like a pyramid or something,...
I feel
fucking empty.
“I’d totally bang a chick in a lab coat.”
Did you see the words?
two friends that can’t deny the way they’ve started to feel for each other. they don’t really know why their feelings for each other have suddenly grown into something more, and they’re cautious at first about what they do. they “test a kiss goodnight” but still they’ve just got a big confusing mess to deal with. they’ve had similar experiences and...
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#$)(^*)$#@
It’s amazing how that the more you grow onto someone, the less you have to say for them to understand.
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Dec. 23rd.
I told you I felt different. I don’t aymore. I feel myself again.
“Don’t fall in love, go out with a couple of boys. And you’ll know...”
“Everyone has the ability of making someone happy; some by entering the room,...”
“The only thing worse than a liar, is a bad liar.”
“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has...”
“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming,...”
Later thar day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you...
“My favorite Beatles song was ‘Hey Jude’ for the longest time, but...”
–
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Dec. 11th.
I don’t know if I want to do this. It’s weird now. I feel different , I myself, feel different. I feel the same but I feel different. if that makes any sense at all. I don’t want to say it, I do want to say it , I did say it.
“It’s just standard, right? You wear Pike & Crew, you fuck around at...”
“You gotta stop worryin bout the bad things in life, you just gotta enjoy every...”
– Dad.
I shouldn’t have said and done the things I said and did.
“Nobody told me that there would be days like these.”
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I lied about everything. Just saying.
“You have no idea what I am capable of.”
I’ve gotta big big big big heart beat, yeah I think you are the sweetest thing I wear a coat of feelings and they are loud I’ve been having good days Think we are the right age To start out own peculiar ways With good friendly homes? You get me freaked freaked freaked on preakness Never met a girl that likes to drink with horses Knows her chinese ballet Must admit you smell...
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&
I had the best time last night that I have had in a while. IrtIflyaIcety.
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I
Don’t even know what to think right now. It’s 6:35 in the morning and my mind is already racing. WHAT THE FUCK. <3 I think.
“But don’t cram your tongue all the way down her throat or anything stupid...”
– Marty Beckerman
Today was good, real good.
You
Think you have it all together. You think you have it all figured out. You think that you’re happy. You think that you’re okay now. You think things are going as planned. You think that things are the way you want them to be. But you know it’s all wrong. They’re not.
Nah.
More like, I don’t want what I got because I don’t got what I want. Why does my mind constantly change? It’s so different, I’ve never wanted something and didn’t have it. I’ve never had something and didn’t want it.
I was thinking.
I don’t think I want what I got. I don’t think I got what I want.
“Addiction makes you clever.”
“Truth is still absolute. Believe that. Even when that truth is hard and cold,...”
You know what I'm sayin'?
I was thinking and I can’t really explain what I was thinking. I just know I was thinking it. So I’m just going to write down what comes to my mind as im writing.
You brought out so many emotions in me, but I’m not complaining. And it’s crazy to think that another person, just some other person, can do that. It’s like they take them all out and swing them around and...